Sup tumblrwangs. HOLY fuck ive just realised its been six months since I last updated, a lot has changed in that time.

Beard hairs have washed up on the west australian coast confirming the death of a world-famous terrorist

Revolutions in the middle-east have jolted old men in armchairs into animated discussions over buttered scones and cups of not-really-give-a-fuck flavoured premium tea.

Aand our protagonist has just taken his first step into a future burgeoning legal career of filing lawsuits against old ladies on the behalf of corporate benefactors who chew scenery and shit 100 dollar bills. whew, thats a lot.

Over the course of the last six months i’ve made new friends, pushed the limits of body and mind in more ways than one, broken boundaries and evolved into a slightly improved version of myself. Thats what the college experience is meant to do to you and looking back I can honestly say I have no regrets, even the worst of mistakes have been ones i’ve learnt from and even the scars i’ve accumulated along the way (including this big motherfucker on my knee) are just souveniers of an existence well spent.

I’ve learned a few valuable things along the way about myself. I’ve learned that deep inside I possess an infinite reservoir of ideas and assorted bullshit which i can call upon at any time to get me out of a tight situation. I’ve learned that theres no better motivation than an inflated ego and three cans of caffeinated energy drink and also that a ruthless attitude will carry you through life, providided you dont end up pissing off too many fuckers along the way.

now that the philosophical wankfest is done, I can sit back and look at my situation. I’ve made it through a semester of university unscathed and better for it, and i’ve got 7 weeks of free time which (unlike the days before a crucial exam) i dont intend to waste. Now that the post-exam euphoria has subsided and the last drops of alcohol have seeped through the pores of my skull, I can finally focus my energies on reading more, writing more, putting out some phat beatz on the drum kit and ofcourse, getting a jeb to refuel the booze and protein tank this machine runs on.

In other words, I’m a fat guy and the world is my giant tub of ice-cream and I intend to get through it with more brute force than tony abbot chasing a refugee boat in an ocean swim with three piranhas caught in his budge smuggler.

Stay tuned for more, twats.